Fowl Soccer Coach

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage - Herbert Hoover

Lingerie: The only clothing where less costs more - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Tirade: A trip to the clothing store to steal neckwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

Armor: 1. A knight gown; 2. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Floordrobe: A floor littered with discarded clothes, viewed ironically as a clothing storage system - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy