Fowl Soccer Coach

Thou lump of foul deformity... - William Shakespeare

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy