#1 humor site on the 'net

Former Baby

Some kids never seem to grow up

Former Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Sign of someone who hasn't got time to get older

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves. - Raphael

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean. - Zach Galifianakis

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own powers. - Mother Teresa

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task. - Diogenes

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

The individual is capable of both great compassion and great indifference. He has it within his means to nourish the former and outgrow the latter. - Norman Cousins


Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star

Shoplifter Warning

Eavestrough Cat

Bobbie Tickle

Exhausting or Amewzing?

World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies

Pineapple Slicer

Pole Safety

Singapore SkyPark