#1 humor site on the 'net

Fork Door Handle

Tools of the trade for an Alabama auto mechanic

Fork Door Handle thanks to Barry McCartney

How Bubba joined the 'Forks For Dorks' club

QuotaBills
Be an opener of doors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Don't dig your grave with a knife and fork. - English Proverb

Rapscallion: A door knocker shaped like an onion - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door. - Marcelene Cox

At the deaf man's door, knock as much as you like. - Greek Proverb

The open door does not necessarily mean the easy pathway. - G. Campbell Morgan

If you shut your door to all errors, truth will be shut out. - Rabindranath Tagore

The door of opportunity won't open unless you do some pushing. - Unknown

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before. - Joseph Campbell

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him. - Flemish Proverb

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight. - Harvey Milk

Temptation usually comes in through a door that has deliberately been left open. - Arnold Glasow

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

I have an unbelievable assistant who handles all of my scheduling. It's like a Tetris game. - Neil P. Harris

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open. - Rose Wilder Lane

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

Forgiveness is a way of opening up the doors again and moving forward, whether it's a personal life or a national life. - Hillary Clinton

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - Robert M Pirsig

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller

Approach racing like a game of billiards. If you bash the ball too hard, you get nowhere. As you handle the cue properly, you drive with more finesse. - Juan M Fangio


Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?

Islanders

Extra Weight

Snowgazers

Happy Australia Day!

Starting Your Fireplace On The Roof

Snow Prayers

Snowbaru

Mirror Image

Hurricane Protection

Spot the Thief

Firm Egg

Winter Chair

Storage Puzzle

Training Wheels

School Nap