#1 humor site on the 'net

Fork Door Handle

Tools of the trade for an Alabama auto mechanic

Fork Door Handle thanks to Barry McCartney

How Bubba joined the 'Forks For Dorks' club

QuotaBills
Be an opener of doors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Monarchy: Used to open doors in a Royal Palace. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

Liam's like a man with a fork in a world of soup. - Noel Gallagher

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

The open door does not necessarily mean the easy pathway. - G. Campbell Morgan

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions. - Unknown

School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

Shut the door will the 2 of yas, we're catchin' ammonia. - Archie Bunker

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble at his door. - Confucius

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

I like holding the door for people who are far away, so they have to run a little. - Bill Murray

My daughter's been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a door slams shut it means that God is pointing to an open door further on down. - Anna Delaney Peale

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat the door down. - Unknown

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Faith handles the ultimate incongruities of life, humor handles the more immediate ones. - William S Coffin

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

I have an unbelievable assistant who handles all of my scheduling. It's like a Tetris game. - Neil P. Harris

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

No business can stay in business without customers. How you treat - or mistreat - them determines how long your doors stay open. - Harvey Mackay

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Reflective Art

Canadian Drive-Thru

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Trunk Minions

Despicable Watermelon

New Parking Spot For Women

Popcorn Cremation

Time Is Free

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Happy 4th of July

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Awkward

Soldier Salute

You Turn

Australia 101 For Tourists

Horse Wood Sculpture

Changing Priorities Ahead

Fishing With Moses

Expired Marriage