#1 humor site on the 'net

Forgettable Fishing Trips

Some fishing trips don't turn out as planned

Forgettable Fishing Trips thanks to Barry McCartney

Fishing charters that fish enjoy most

Forgettable Fishing Trips thanks to Barry McCartney

Forgettable Fishing Trips thanks to Barry McCartney

Forgettable Fishing Trips thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King

Time Travel

How To Hide Candy

Little Shaver