#1 humor site on the 'net

Flatskatchewan Winter Sunrise

Morning dawns in the Canadian Prairies

Flatskatchewan Winter Sunrise thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Canadian artist Ian McGregor's artwork

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Could you patent the sun? - Jonas Salk

Canada and space are a natural fit. - Marc Garneau

And after winter folweth grene May. - Geoffrey Chaucer

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

In the kingdom of hope, there is no winter. - Russian Proverb

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. - Hal Borland

Meet the sun every day as if it could cast a ballot. - Henry C Lodge

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows. - Helen Keller

When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with. - WC Fields

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle

If you want a place in the sun, you've got to expect a few blisters. - Abigail Van Buren

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

This evening is a very different evening from the morning that we had this morning. - David Coleman

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I have a feeling there's a correlation between getting up in the morning and getting up in the world. - Milton Berle

No one wakes up in the morning and says, "I want to gain 150 pounds and I will start right now!" - Tricia Cunningham

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The Sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction. - George Lorimer

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. - Jon Stewart

If you get up in the morning and you say, 'I got to go to work. How can I get out of this?' you're not happy. - Red Auerbach

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb