#1 humor site on the 'net

Flask Tie

Latest in drinkable designer neckties

Flask Tie thanks to Howard Chapman

Get your drink on - tie responsibly!

QuotaBills
In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Trust in God - but tie your camel tight. - Persian Proverb

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. - Franklin D. Roosevelt

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Friendship, of itself a holy tie, is made more sacred by adversity. - Charles C. Colton

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

And the reward for the best neckwear goes to... Well would you look at that, it's a tie. - Cornon

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


OCD Guy

Garage Add-on

Cow Vacation

ChristMoose Tree

Pilot Prop Job

Crow Species

Lawn Mirror

Fishing Addiction

Hairy Potter

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Crosswalk Casualty

The Tree Is Up, Dear

One Too Many

Owl Garden

GhetToes

Statue Pose

Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake