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Family Planning Advice

Care in rearing the young

Family Planning Advice thanks to Barry McCartney

Hospital-recommended entrance plan

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Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Misuse of "Literally" makes me figuratively insane. - Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Am I afraid of high notes? Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not? - Luciano Pavarotti

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Theresa

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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