#1 humor site on the 'net

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea

Crossing the Red Sea is now easier than crossing the Dead Sea

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea thanks to Roy Turkington

Low water levels with outdated warning signs

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea thanks to Roy Turkington

Swimming lessons no longer required at the Dead part of the Dead Sea

Israel raises water warning awareness

The Dead Sea is shrinking at a record rate, prompting calls for Israel and Jordan to stop fertilizer makers from siphoning so much of the water whose restorative powers have attracted visitors since biblical times. Hundreds of sinkholes are opening up on its shores - on the Israeli and Jordanian coasts, evidence of a pending environmental catastrophe. The ancient salt sea is shrinking, and as it recedes, the fresh water aquifers along the perimeter of the lake are receding along with it. As this fresh water diffuses into salt deposits beneath the surface of the shoreline, the water slowly dissolves the deposits until the earth above collapses without warning. More than 1,000 sinkholes have appeared in the past 15 years. In that time, sinkholes have swallowed a portion of road, date-palm fields and several buildings on the sea’s northwest coast. Environmental experts believe that hotels along the shore are also in danger.

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Oil is drowning our oceans and drowning our boreal forests. - Winona LaDuke

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Israel is still the only country in the world against which there is a written document to the effect that it must disappear. - Menachem Begin

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane

Air Wakanda

Birthday Bonus

Harrison Ford

Better Start In Life

Husband Makes Lunch

Bottle Curtains

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Frozen Eyelashes

Chipwrecked

Moose Parking

Long Winter

Another Day In Traffic