#1 humor site on the 'net

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea

Crossing the Red Sea is now easier than crossing the Dead Sea

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea thanks to Roy Turkington

Low water levels with outdated warning signs

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea thanks to Roy Turkington

Swimming lessons no longer required at the Dead part of the Dead Sea

Israel raises water warning awareness

The Dead Sea is shrinking at a record rate, prompting calls for Israel and Jordan to stop fertilizer makers from siphoning so much of the water whose restorative powers have attracted visitors since biblical times. Hundreds of sinkholes are opening up on its shores - on the Israeli and Jordanian coasts, evidence of a pending environmental catastrophe. The ancient salt sea is shrinking, and as it recedes, the fresh water aquifers along the perimeter of the lake are receding along with it. As this fresh water diffuses into salt deposits beneath the surface of the shoreline, the water slowly dissolves the deposits until the earth above collapses without warning. More than 1,000 sinkholes have appeared in the past 15 years. In that time, sinkholes have swallowed a portion of road, date-palm fields and several buildings on the sea’s northwest coast. Environmental experts believe that hotels along the shore are also in danger.

QuotaBills
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

A drowning man will clutch at a straw. - Sir Thomas More

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge. - Daniel J Boorstin

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Sometimes you can get so busy trying to be everyone else's anchor that you don't even realize you are actually drowning. - Unknown

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia