Dr. Hedgehog

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown