#1 humor site on the 'net

Cutting Off Board

Slow motion view of food droppings

Cutting Off Board thanks to Wayne Nowazek

An artistic drop piece for sliced tomatoes

Build a custom wood cutting board
QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Burma Road Cycling

Water Waste Basket

My Daughter and My Money

Executive Decision Time

Animal Rings

Cow Return

Biggest Fan On The Block

Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic