QuotaBillsLiquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
He was so crooked that when he died they had to screw him into the ground. - Bob Hope
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
From such crooked wood as that which man is made of, nothing straight can be fashioned. - Immanuel Kant
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison