Crash Course in Texas Weather

The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. - Don Marquis

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. - Corrie Ten Boom

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi