Cracks Me Up

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack. - D.H. Lawrence

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins