Cracks Me Up

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack. - D.H. Lawrence

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins