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Cracks Me Up

Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

Cracks Me Up thanks to Wayne Nowazek

An egglusion, one shell at a time

QuotaBills
I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell


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