Cracks Me Up
Which came first - the chicken or the egg?
An egglusion, one shell at a time
QuotaBillsChicken: An egg factory - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wise Crack: A comedian with a PHD - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde
Helicopter: An egg beater with ambition - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams
Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler
Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne
What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno
If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky
Necrophilia: The uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams
The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou
I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey
We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch
Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown
I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx
For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack. - D.H. Lawrence
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn
Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang
The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins