#1 humor site on the 'net

Come Quietly Please

David meets Goliath on police duty

Come Quietly Please thanks to Roy Taylor

When it's hard to overlook the evidence

'Pardon the interruption, kind sir, I'm most awfully sorry to bother you, but would you mind terribly if I asked you, in the gentlest and friendliest terms, whether you might consent to considering yourself under arrest?'

QuotaBills
Excitement to riot - Archie Bunker

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

Marchin' in all the peace riots. - Archie Bunker

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

When you read the riot act, be prepared to enforce it. - Saying

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway