#1 humor site on the 'net

Closed Stor

How to get notis'd with custom signage

Closed Stor thanks to Dave Loewen

A truly custom business sign

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

We can never tell what is in store for us. - Harry S Truman

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

People with closed minds should try and be more closed-mouthed. - Unknown

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

If you can do something with your eyes closed, it's time to find something new. - Kathie L Gifford

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own powers. - Mother Teresa

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. - Horace

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. - Albert Einstein

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Closed systems run down and get more chaotic over time. Always get better by being open to outside energy and templates of better ways to function. - Henry Cloud

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Months Apart

Swing Dad

Dadspiration

Daddy, Can I Ride It?

Leaf Surgery

No Wheeler

Dad's Ex-Ferrari

Privileged Corvette Parking

Dad's Turn

Sleep-In Dad

Ways to say 'Dad' in Different Languages

I Love Dad

Shakespeare Pens

Father Sayings for Father's Day

Buy Whatever

Dad-A-Base

Child Instrument

Bear Print

Superior Church

Hopscotch for Seniors

A Mother's Love

French Red Wine

Redneck Cup Holder

Steampunk Gators