Closed Stor

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed. - WC Fields

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Music acts like a magic key, to which the most tightly closed heart opens. - Maria Augusta von Trapp

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. - Steven Wright

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

If you can do something with your eyes closed, it's time to find something new. - Kathie L Gifford

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own powers. - Mother Teresa

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. - Horace

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

You can spend your precious energy beating down closed doors, or you can choose the doors that open when you knock. - Unknown

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller