Circumcision Without Paining

Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard

Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. - C S Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler