Christmas Dinner Made Easy

Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock