Christmas Dinner Made Easy

Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin