#1 humor site on the 'net

Cautious Fireman

Safety first when fighting the neighbour's house fire

Cautious Fireman thanks to Keith Blake

Don't worry guys, I've got this

QuotaBills
Fires and grimstones of hell - Archie Bunker

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

I set myself on fire, and the people come to see me burn. - John Wesley

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. - Plutarch

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. - Cher

Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

No amount of facts in his head can compensate for the lack of fire on his lips. - Vance Havner

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. - Unknown

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

I don't have an alarm clock. If someone needs to wake me up, then I have my BlackBerry next to me. - Mark Zuckerberg

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Absence destroys small passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes tapers and kindles fires. - Unknown

Years steal fire from the mind as vigor from the limb; and life's enchanted cup but sparkles near the brim. - Lord Byron

The fire of the diamond of true identity is always there; it just needs the Master's crafting to reveal it. - Kenneth G Mills

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton