#1 humor site on the 'net

Calculus Drinks

Mathematicians don't drink and derive at the same time

Calculus Drinks thanks to Roy Taylor

Restaurant bar lounge for college math professors

Drinking it all it, one equation at a time

QuotaBills
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

The unhappy derive comfort from the misfortunes of others. - Aesop

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation. - Terry Pratchett

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

If you took love out of the equation, I wouldn't know what else to write about. - Nick Cave

In one equation you can solve all the puzzles of life. It is the equation of giving. - Amit Ray

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Amazingly when you add life and consciousness to the equation you can actually explain some of the biggest puzzles of science. - Robert Lanza

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway


The Wheels of Life

Ford Door Lock

Texting Abbreviations for the Elderly

Wiener Dog Safety

Donkey Refill

Big John

Do Must Marriage

Shopping-ish

Head Twins

Pickup Park

Diet Hard

Go Nowhere Bike

Master Reference Binder

Do You See A Bird or a Girl?

Car Moochanic

Wife's Small Mistake

Redneck TP

Backwards Clock

Redneck House Move

New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight