Broken Window Repair

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

Unbrella: An umbrella that the wind has turned inside-out - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

I tell you what always catches my eye. Short people with an umbrella. - Gary Delaney

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. - George Carlin

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles Spurgeon

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz