#1 humor site on the 'net

Breathe in the Ocean

Signs of stress in surrounding waters

Breathe in the Ocean thanks to Malachi Defries

Be careful how and where you take every breath

QuotaBills
Only when I breathe. - Jack Nicholson

To hurt is as human as to breathe. - J K Rowling

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you don't become the ocean you'll be seasick every day. - Leonard Cohen

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone. - Arab Proverb

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Let me be an ocean and let me kiss you as many times as the ocean kisses the shore. - Debasish Mridha

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. - Jorge Luis Borges

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

A man who has to be convinced to act before he acts is not a man of action. You must act as you breathe. - Georges Clemenceau

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? - David Mitchell

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Car Wrecker

Redneck Faucet

Feather Cleaning

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Tough Love

Easter Island

Flood Bridge

Don't Count On It

Upended Water Buffalo

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!

Puma Pants

Polar Bear Attack

Foot Sign Language

Winter Tires

Hooters Face Mask

Latte Art

Whiskey Toothpaste

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News