#1 humor site on the 'net

Breathe in the Ocean

Signs of stress in surrounding waters

Breathe in the Ocean thanks to Malachi Defries

Be careful how and where you take every breath

QuotaBills
Only when I breathe. - Jack Nicholson

To hurt is as human as to breathe. - J K Rowling

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Suntan: A pigment of your imagination. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quicksand: Beach where motor races are held - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ampersand: Sand you won't find at a beach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Nervous Wreck: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. - Emma Lazarus

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

Let me be an ocean and let me kiss you as many times as the ocean kisses the shore. - Debasish Mridha

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

The least movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble. - Blaise Pascal

It is simply my life, music. I live it, breathe it, talk with it. I am almost unconscious of it. - Arthur Rubinstein

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

I don't trust the ocean, either; it would kill me as soon as not. It doesn't mean I'm afraid of it. - Maggie Stiefvater

My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? - David Mitchell

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of the missing drop. - Mother Teresa

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree