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Best Kind Of Antique

I'm looking for something that's not really too old...

Best Kind Of Antique thanks to Keith Blake

Antique Table sale - daily

QuotaBills
Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

In actual life I am a grumpy old bag. - Dawn French

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

As we grow old, the beauty steals inward. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground. - African Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Short words are best, and old words are the best of all. - Winston Churchill

When 900 years old, you reach... Look as good, you will not. - Yoda

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. - Benjamin Franklin

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. - C S Lewis

There were dragons to slay in the old days. Nixon was a good dragon. - Pat Oliphant

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Old houses mended, cost little less than new before they're ended. - Colley Cibber

The essence of age is intellect. Wherever that appears, we call it old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am. - Sylvia Plath

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

I wouldn't mind being called middle-aged if only I knew a few more hundred-year-old people. - Dean Martin

I will be 83 years old on December 12 and I've decided to retire while I'm still young. - Bob Barker

You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn

The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. - Dee Hock

There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it. - Ben Stiller

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

Young people tell what they are doing, old people what they have done, and fools what they wish to do. - French Proverb

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. - Anne Bancroft

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Joan Kerr

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

Peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in our country with a simple oath, we affirm old traditions, and make new beginnings. - George W. Bush


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Circumcision

Vegan Wisdom

Sharp Sign

Pulled You Over

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

Leaf Edge

Windmill Guitar

Redneck Shave

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Legal Exhibit

Cattle Breeding

Study to Fail

Light Bulb

Lifeguard Distancing

Giant Grasshopper

Horse Hearse

Train Boat

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Canned Art