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Why bacon is for Periodic Element nerds

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Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Bacon, The source of all happiness. - Samuel V.D. Evans

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


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