#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby High Chair

Little Johnny uses his best friend to reach the table

Baby High Chair thanks to Keith Blake

Lending a helping head

QuotaBills
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug