Aussie Golf

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump