Antique iPhones

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

I read the newspapers avidly. It is my one form of continuous fiction. - Aneurin Bevan

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. - Peter Drucker

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Success is the space one occupies in the newspaper. Success is one day's insolence. - Elias Canetti

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. - Mark Twain

Xylophone: Revolutionary communication device that turns the sounds of the voice into a mellow, musical chime - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If Moses had been paid newspaper rates for the Ten Commandments, he might have written the Two Thousand Commandments. - Isaac B. Singer

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication. - Harold S Geneen

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. - Navjot S Sidhu

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland