#1 humor site on the 'net

Animal Rings

Close inspection of tree rings reveals animal traits

Animal Rings thanks to Keith Blake

Tree surgeon at work

Aging peeled back one layer at a time
QuotaBills
Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Only animals were not expelled from Paradise. - Milan Kundera

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Animals are like people because people are animals. - Barbara T Gates

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Hamster: The animal least likely to be found in a synagogue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me. - Willem Dafoe

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Often, the human animal dresses terror in rage, and expresses both in a way unlike either. - Julius Lester

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness. - Lao Tzu

There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. - James Dean

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience. - Henry Miller

Once you have a product that you are happy with, you need to centralize things to continue growth. - Mark Zuckerberg

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. - P J O'Rourke

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mule: 1. An animal that is stubbornly backward about going forward; 2. An animal who boasts that his ancestors were horses. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. - Herbert Otto

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

God gave unto the Animals
A wisdom past our power to see:
Each knows innately how to live,
Which we must learn laboriously. - Margaret Atwood

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Animals are like little angels sent to earth to teach us how to love. They don't get angry or play silly games. They are always there for us. - Whitney Mandel


Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger