#1 humor site on the 'net

Ancient Thing Store

English shopper alert at an Asian antique store

Ancient Thing Store thanks to Roy Turkington

Something for everyone

QuotaBills
My store is open to all. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

In ancient Rome they killed Sid Caesar - Archie Bunker

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The ancient Egyptian kings, the fairy-ohs. - Archie Bunker

We can never tell what is in store for us. - Harry S Truman

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Do not remove the ancient landmark that your ancestors set up. - Bible

With the ancient is wisdom, and in length of days understanding. - Job 12:1

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. - Steven Wright

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

All things that people take home from the store become part of their identities. - David Masten

The most dangerous thing I've ever done is probably bungee jumping in Thailand. - Simon Cowell

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

It's possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. - Alec Bourne

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. - Horace

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. - Steven Wright

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

They talk about the failure of socialism but where is the success of capitalism in Africa, Asia and Latin America? - Fidel Castro

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Glamour Training

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

Tooth Ferry

Snail On The Run

Quarantine Response

Mistake Variations

Wood Not Be Safe

Junkyard Art

Advice for the Cat

Life Is Like Photography

Baptised Trespassers

European Men - History Timeline

Raxe

Male Multitasker

Fork In The Road

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Goat Trick

Genuine Fake Watches

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Edible Pet Clothing