#1 humor site on the 'net

Almost Floats On Water

Sinking feeling with your TV remote

Almost Floats On Water thanks to Barry McCartney

Maybe it would float on the Dead Sea

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

If we tried to sink the past beneath our feet, be sure the future would not stand it. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

Somewhere beyond the sink-hole, past the magnolia, under the live oaks, a boy and a yearling ran side by side, and were gone forever. - Marjorie K. Rawlings

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe