#1 humor site on the 'net

Almost Floats On Water

Sinking feeling with your TV remote

Almost Floats On Water thanks to Barry McCartney

Maybe it would float on the Dead Sea

QuotaBills
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The great myth of our times is that technology is communication. - Libby Larsen

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going? - Douglas Gauck

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

America is a melting pot; the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top. - Charlie King

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication. - Harold S Geneen

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey


Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Redneck Post Support

Indiana Jeans

First Performance

Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho