#1 humor site on the 'net

Airplane Seating Diagram

Assigned the best-fit seat on a no-frills flight

Airplane Seating Diagram thanks to Keith Blake

How not to start off your holiday trip

QuotaBills
If I cannot fly, let me sing. - Stephen Sondheim

Conference: Hot air on a high level. - Gerald Barzan

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

Never eat spinach just before going on the air. - Dan Rather

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing. - J M Barrie

The press is like the air, a chartered libertine. - William Pitt The Elder

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

For those determined to fly, having no wings is just a little detail. - Unknown

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

I don't know about flying, but sometimes it feels like I have these little wings on my feet. - Michael Jordan

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

Stay in your seat come times of trouble. Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt. - Paul Harvey

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

A drone is often preferred for missions that are too 'dull, dirty, or dangerous' for manned aircraft. - Nick Hahn

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato


Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100