Advice for the Cat

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

The worst men often give the best advice. - Francis Bacon

I always advise people never to give advice. - P G Wodehouse

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

Some quick advice for success in life: Don't be afraid, be amazing. - Cuthbert Soup

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

God made Adam first because he didn't want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. - Unknown

Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk. - Valencia Mackie

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it. - Jack Nicholson

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

My advice to myself and to everyone else, particularly young people, is to turn on, tune in and drop out. - Timothy Leary

"Quit now, you'll never make it." If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. - David Zucker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Here's good advice for practice: go into partnership with nature; she does more than half the work and asks none of the fee. - Martin H. Fischer

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown