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Tax Return Accuracy

Answering a puzzling IRS reply

I just received my tax return back from the IRS. It puzzles me! They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
Tax Return Accuracy thanks to Gus Souza

It's tax time again!

I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents"
I replied: "12 million illegal immigrants,
3 million crack heads,
42 million unemployed people on food stamps,
2 million people in over 243 prisons,
Half of Mexico, and
535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate."
Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer. I keep asking myself, who the heck did I miss?

QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Freedom lies in being bold. - Robert Frost

The bad guys always get a vote. - Navy saying

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense. - Ed Howe

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. - Charles Kettering

Sudafed: Brought litigation against a government official - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

Commitments the voters don’t know about can't hurt you. - Ogden Nash

Time misspent in youth is sometimes all the freedom one ever has. - Anita Brookner

Voters don't decide issues, they decide who will decide issues. - George Will

No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction. - American Proverb

Once a man has tasted freedom, he will never be content to be a slave. - Walt Disney

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. - Benjamin Franklin

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Being a politician is a poor profession. Being a public servant is a noble one. - Herbert C Hoover

What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist. - Salman Rushdie

I wouldn't mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country. - Dick Gregory

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter

The indignation of politicians is NOT a good measure of the gravity of any situation. - Paul Harvey

Necessity is blind until it becomes conscious. Freedom is the consciousness of necessity. - Karl Marx

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Freedom in general may be defined as the absence of obstacles to the realization of desires. - Bertrand Russell

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is a tax reform. - Russell B Long

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Of course God knew what would happen if they used their freedom the wrong way: apparently, He thought it worth the risk. - C S Lewis

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

Freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down the fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged. - Alice Walker

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. - John Quincy Adams

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


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