#1 humor site on the 'net

2 Carrot Ring

Making an impression on her ring finger

2 Carrot Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Nothing but the best for Bubba's girl

QuotaBills
If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Keratin: What preserved carrots are sold in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Square Root: 1. Diced carrot; 2. Diced turnip. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

The ring always believes that the finger lives for it. - Malcolm de Chazal

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

My basics are black, white, or neutral, and I'll wear a ton of jewelry or carry a brightly colored bag. - Rachel Zoe

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris


Tree Sorrow

OCD Electrician

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Redneck Shower Head

Wise Moves

Fox Hunting Madness

Emperor Penguins

The Side Effects of Veganism

Stair Railing Electrician

Cold Faucet

Make Womb For Baby

Hardtail Bike

Birth Control Kit

Come-Back Line Of The Year

Duck Gears

Chewing Gum Hazard

Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant