#1 humor site on the 'net

2 Carrot Ring

Making an impression on her ring finger

2 Carrot Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Nothing but the best for Bubba's girl

QuotaBills
If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Keratin: What preserved carrots are sold in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

The ring always believes that the finger lives for it. - Malcolm de Chazal

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

My basics are black, white, or neutral, and I'll wear a ton of jewelry or carry a brightly colored bag. - Rachel Zoe

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris


Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls

New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There