Zoo Dude

Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. - Oliver Herford

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro