#1 humor site on the 'net

Wine Aerobics

What a corkscrew bottle opener does to keep in shape

Wine Aerobics thanks to Howard Chapman

Kitchen excercise always precedes a good bottle of wine

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks

Lights, Camera, Overreaction

Rebar Walker

Leading The Way

Melted Dog

Painful Ballet

Welder's Last Stand

My Life Goal

1-800-PILLCASH

Ghetto Boat

Hungry Hiker Tree

Redneck Roof

My Last Swim In The Ocean