Why We're Always Out of TP

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain