Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
What Has America Become?
Land of the special interest and double standard
Has America become the land of the special interest and
home of the double standard?
"Let's see: if we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us its just politics; if we dislike a black person, we're racist and if a black dislikes whites, it's their 1st Amendment right; the government spends millions to rehabilitate criminals and they do almost nothing for the victims; in public schools you can teach that homosexuality is OK, but you better not use the word God in the process; you can kill an unborn child, but its wrong to execute a mass murderer; we don't burn books in America, we now rewrite them; we got rid of the communist and socialist threat by renaming them progressives; we are unable to close our border with Mexico, but have no problem protecting the 38th parallel in Korea; if you protest against President Obama's policies you're a terrorist, but if you burned an American flag or George Bush in effigy it was your 1st Amendment right.
You can have pornography on TV or the internet, but you better not put a nativity scene in a public park during Christmas; we have eliminated all criminals in America, they are now called sick people; we can use a human fetus for medical research, but it's wrong to use an animal.
We take money from those who work hard for it and give it to those who don't want to work; we all support the Constitution, but only when it supports our political ideology; we still have freedom of speech, but only if we are being politically correct; parenting has been replaced with Ritalin and video games; the land of opportunity is now the land of hand outs; the similarity between Hurricane Katrina and the gulf oil spill is that neither president did anything to help.
And how do we handle a major crisis today? The government appoints a committee to determine who's at fault, then threatens them, passes a law, raises our taxes, tells us the problem is solved so they can get back to their reelection campaign.
What has happened to the land of the free and home of the brave?" - Ken Huber, Tawas City
"Let's see: if we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us its just politics; if we dislike a black person, we're racist and if a black dislikes whites, it's their 1st Amendment right; the government spends millions to rehabilitate criminals and they do almost nothing for the victims; in public schools you can teach that homosexuality is OK, but you better not use the word God in the process; you can kill an unborn child, but its wrong to execute a mass murderer; we don't burn books in America, we now rewrite them; we got rid of the communist and socialist threat by renaming them progressives; we are unable to close our border with Mexico, but have no problem protecting the 38th parallel in Korea; if you protest against President Obama's policies you're a terrorist, but if you burned an American flag or George Bush in effigy it was your 1st Amendment right.
You can have pornography on TV or the internet, but you better not put a nativity scene in a public park during Christmas; we have eliminated all criminals in America, they are now called sick people; we can use a human fetus for medical research, but it's wrong to use an animal.
We take money from those who work hard for it and give it to those who don't want to work; we all support the Constitution, but only when it supports our political ideology; we still have freedom of speech, but only if we are being politically correct; parenting has been replaced with Ritalin and video games; the land of opportunity is now the land of hand outs; the similarity between Hurricane Katrina and the gulf oil spill is that neither president did anything to help.
And how do we handle a major crisis today? The government appoints a committee to determine who's at fault, then threatens them, passes a law, raises our taxes, tells us the problem is solved so they can get back to their reelection campaign.
What has happened to the land of the free and home of the brave?" - Ken Huber, Tawas City
World History: Scrap book - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
History is more or less bunk. - Henry Ford
Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver
History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins
Peace is preferable to a place in history. - Justo P Benitez
Revolutions are the locomotives of history. - Karl Marx
America is addicted to wars of distraction. - Barbara Ehrenreich
America is a tune. It must be sung together. - Gerald Stanley Lee
God Bless America, written by Milton Berlin. - Archie Bunker
America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. - John Updike
Epochodor: The smell of history found at museums - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. - Will Rogers
Leftovers: 1. Mull-again stew; 2. Repast history. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It's a very good historical book about history. - Dan Quayle
America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown
Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump
History will never accept difficulties as an excuse. - John F Kennedy
We are not makers of history. We are made by history. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
History is a vision of God's creation on the move. - Arnold J. Toynbee
History books that contain no lies are extremely dull. - Anatole France
We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg W F Hegel
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell
The trouble with history is its dependence upon diplomats. - Gerald F Lieberman
United Nations: Where America feeds the hands that bite it. - Gregory Nunn
Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill
A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb
It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself. - Gertrude Stein
The only thing new in the world is the history you don't know. - Harry S Truman
The main obstacle to a stable and just world is the United States. - George Soros
A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke. - Max Eastman
Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence
I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice. - Mark Twain
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson
If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten. - Rudyard Kipling
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. - Napoleon Bonaparte
History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies. - Alexis de Tocqueville
Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection. - Watchman Nee
Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America, not on the battlefields of Vietnam. - Marshall McLuhan
The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! - Dwight D Eisenhower
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. - Kurt Vonnegut
There has never been a better time in history to be an environmental radiation researcher. - Steven Magee
The world has entered an era of the most profound and challenging change in human history. - Stephen Covey
Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson
I work with gold that holds history, diamonds that see the future, and rubies that long for love. - Waris Ahluwalia
In the whole history of technology it would be difficult to find a greater single advance than this. - L.T.C. Rolt
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will
In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected. - Oscar Wilde
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore
Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin
My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump
How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
In America the young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience. - Oscar Wilde
History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside. - John F Kennedy
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
He's ... probably the greatest corporate leader in the history of a major company... Somebody like that would be absolutely incredible. - Donald Trump
Peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in our country with a simple oath, we affirm old traditions, and make new beginnings. - George W. Bush
Things always get better. Tomorrow will always be better. Just think about it... is there any time in history in which you'd rather live than now? - Paul Harvey
History is more or less bunk. - Henry Ford
Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver
History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins
Peace is preferable to a place in history. - Justo P Benitez
Revolutions are the locomotives of history. - Karl Marx
America is addicted to wars of distraction. - Barbara Ehrenreich
America is a tune. It must be sung together. - Gerald Stanley Lee
God Bless America, written by Milton Berlin. - Archie Bunker
America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. - John Updike
Epochodor: The smell of history found at museums - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. - Will Rogers
Leftovers: 1. Mull-again stew; 2. Repast history. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It's a very good historical book about history. - Dan Quayle
America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown
Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump
History will never accept difficulties as an excuse. - John F Kennedy
We are not makers of history. We are made by history. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
History is a vision of God's creation on the move. - Arnold J. Toynbee
History books that contain no lies are extremely dull. - Anatole France
We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg W F Hegel
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell
The trouble with history is its dependence upon diplomats. - Gerald F Lieberman
United Nations: Where America feeds the hands that bite it. - Gregory Nunn
Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill
A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb
It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself. - Gertrude Stein
The only thing new in the world is the history you don't know. - Harry S Truman
The main obstacle to a stable and just world is the United States. - George Soros
A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke. - Max Eastman
Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence
I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice. - Mark Twain
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson
If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten. - Rudyard Kipling
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. - Napoleon Bonaparte
History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies. - Alexis de Tocqueville
Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection. - Watchman Nee
Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America, not on the battlefields of Vietnam. - Marshall McLuhan
The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! - Dwight D Eisenhower
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. - Kurt Vonnegut
There has never been a better time in history to be an environmental radiation researcher. - Steven Magee
The world has entered an era of the most profound and challenging change in human history. - Stephen Covey
Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson
I work with gold that holds history, diamonds that see the future, and rubies that long for love. - Waris Ahluwalia
In the whole history of technology it would be difficult to find a greater single advance than this. - L.T.C. Rolt
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will
In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected. - Oscar Wilde
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore
Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin
My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump
How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
In America the young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience. - Oscar Wilde
History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside. - John F Kennedy
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
He's ... probably the greatest corporate leader in the history of a major company... Somebody like that would be absolutely incredible. - Donald Trump
Peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in our country with a simple oath, we affirm old traditions, and make new beginnings. - George W. Bush
Things always get better. Tomorrow will always be better. Just think about it... is there any time in history in which you'd rather live than now? - Paul Harvey
Lunch Break
Digging One's Own Grave
See The Difference?
Gas and Dash
OctoMask
Bird on a Wire (past tense)
Workplace Hazards in Tasmania
Tiger On A Roll
Men's Golf Rules
Where Did He Go?
Sudden Invented Syndrome
Calculus Drinks
Lights, Camera, Overreaction
Rebar Walker
Leading The Way
Melted Dog
Painful Ballet
Welder's Last Stand
My Life Goal
1-800-PILLCASH
Ghetto Boat
Hungry Hiker Tree
Redneck Roof
My Last Swim In The Ocean