#1 humor site on the 'net

What Has America Become?

Land of the special interest and double standard

What Has America Become? thanks to Ken Huber

Has America become the land of the special interest and home of the double standard?

"Let's see: if we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us its just politics; if we dislike a black person, we're racist and if a black dislikes whites, it's their 1st Amendment right; the government spends millions to rehabilitate criminals and they do almost nothing for the victims; in public schools you can teach that homosexuality is OK, but you better not use the word God in the process; you can kill an unborn child, but its wrong to execute a mass murderer; we don't burn books in America, we now rewrite them; we got rid of the communist and socialist threat by renaming them progressives; we are unable to close our border with Mexico, but have no problem protecting the 38th parallel in Korea; if you protest against President Obama's policies you're a terrorist, but if you burned an American flag or George Bush in effigy it was your 1st Amendment right.
You can have pornography on TV or the internet, but you better not put a nativity scene in a public park during Christmas; we have eliminated all criminals in America, they are now called sick people; we can use a human fetus for medical research, but it's wrong to use an animal.
We take money from those who work hard for it and give it to those who don't want to work; we all support the Constitution, but only when it supports our political ideology; we still have freedom of speech, but only if we are being politically correct; parenting has been replaced with Ritalin and video games; the land of opportunity is now the land of hand outs; the similarity between Hurricane Katrina and the gulf oil spill is that neither president did anything to help.
And how do we handle a major crisis today? The government appoints a committee to determine who's at fault, then threatens them, passes a law, raises our taxes, tells us the problem is solved so they can get back to their reelection campaign.
What has happened to the land of the free and home of the brave?" - Ken Huber, Tawas City

QuotaBills
History is a set of lies agreed upon. - Napoleon Bonaparte

America can't beat anyone anymore. - George Clooney

History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

History is philosophy teaching by example. - Dionysius

Revolutions are the locomotives of history. - Karl Marx

America is addicted to wars of distraction. - Barbara Ehrenreich

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it. - Oscar Wilde

Epochodor: The smell of history found at museums - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leftovers: 1. Mull-again stew; 2. Repast history. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you think you have it tough, read history books. - Bill Maher

The main thing is to make history, not to write it. - Otto von Bismarck

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. - Winston Churchill

We are not makers of history. We are made by history. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur! - Unknown

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

The trouble with history is its dependence upon diplomats. - Gerald F Lieberman

People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them. - James A. Baldwin

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

The only thing new in the world is the history you don't know. - Harry S Truman

A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke. - Max Eastman

If some countries have too much history, we have too much geography. - William Lyon Mackenzie King

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. - John F Kennedy

If the cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different. - Oscar Wilde

If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten. - Rudyard Kipling

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. - Jacques Barzun

Any lack of confidence in the economic future of the United States is foolish. - Herbert Hoover

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

In America nobody says you have to keep the circumstances somebody else gives you. - Amy Tan

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America, not on the battlefields of Vietnam. - Marshall McLuhan

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

One third of the people in the United States promote while the other two thirds provide. - Will Rogers

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. - Jon Stewart

I work with gold that holds history, diamonds that see the future, and rubies that long for love. - Waris Ahluwalia

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. - Oscar Wilde

We live in a world where amnesia is the most wished-for state. When did history become a bad word? - John Guare

In the whole history of technology it would be difficult to find a greater single advance than this. - L.T.C. Rolt

Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create. - Oprah Winfrey

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honoured by posterity because he was the last to discover America. - James Joyce

Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself. - Groucho Marx

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

In America the young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience. - Oscar Wilde

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. - Frank Zappa

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

I often say of George Washington that he was one of the few in the whole history of the world who was not carried away by power. - Robert Frost

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Reporter to Beatles during their first US tour: "How do you find America?"
Ringo Starr: "Turn left at Greenland." - Ringo Starr

God created us for love, for union, for forgiveness and compassion and, yet, that has not been our storyline. That has not been our history. - Richard Rohr

History will see advertising as one of the real evil things of our time. It is stimulating people constantly to want things, want this, want that. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history. Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks. - Stephen Hawking


2007 Ford Shelby GR1 Concept Car

Starbucks' New Mega Coffee

Chicks Be Like

Made His Bed

Mandeville Mascot

Morning After Dog

Thanks Granny

Redneck Hands-Free Driving

No Passing Lanes

One-Knight Stands

Live Long Street

Texas Car Wash

1934 Modern Home

Breakfast Cupcakes

Microsoft Messenger - Prototype

Five Firm Brakes Tire

Dark Side Bus Stop

Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone