Weight Wait

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus