Ultimate Breakup

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. - Rita Mae Brown

Adorable: What you ring when you go visiting. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland