#1 humor site on the 'net

Twin Dogs

Can you find Little Johnny's real dog?

Twin Dogs thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Snow art on the Canadian Prairies

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Happiness was born a twin. - Lord Byron

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Frozen Fish Meal

Bacon Wrapped Onion Rings

T-Rex Shadow

Camel Parking

Cheat of the Year

Born To Be Wild

Why I Wear 2 Masks

Welfare State

Redneck Wedding Cake

Blonde Gears

Party Direction Sign

House 'Broke'rage

'Piece of Cake' Resignation Letter

Bee Safe

Catfish Noodling

I'm A Believer

Sewing Sculpture

Greatest Italian Riders

Batman Recession

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

About Grandparents

Split Personality Ad

Happy Bithday

Back 2 School Savings