#1 humor site on the 'net

Turtle Leash

Guide dogs in the turtle world

Turtle Leash thanks to Keith Blake

Turtle safety while slow-walking in a crosswalk

QuotaBills
My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals - Unknown

We live on the leash of our senses. - Diane Ackerman

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell. - Bill Copeland

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

The only meat I eat is from animals I've killed myself. - Mark Zuckerberg

Hamster: The animal least likely to be found in a synagogue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

Animals don't hate, and we're supposed to be better than them. - Elvis Presley

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Animals, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our equal. - Charles Darwin

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals. - Leo Tolstoy

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. - Stephen Covey

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. - P J O'Rourke

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared. - Unknown

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

God gave unto the Animals
A wisdom past our power to see:
Each knows innately how to live,
Which we must learn laboriously. - Margaret Atwood

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway


All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse