#1 humor site on the 'net

Turtle Leash

Guide dogs in the turtle world

Turtle Leash thanks to Keith Blake

Turtle safety while slow-walking in a crosswalk

QuotaBills
My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

Only animals were not expelled from Paradise. - Milan Kundera

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Everywhere animals are in chains, but we image them as free. - Carol J Adams

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? - George Carlin

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

You are absolutely free to describe me as a turtle or something. - Paul Giamatti

I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me. - Willem Dafoe

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. - A A Milne

Animals, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our equal. - Charles Darwin

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. - Erik Satie

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

Often, the human animal dresses terror in rage, and expresses both in a way unlike either. - Julius Lester

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals. - Leo Tolstoy

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. - Will Cuppy

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

Animals have one thing that puts them way ahead of people: they don't dissemble, and you don't have to pretend in front of them. - Ivan Klima

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch

God gave unto the Animals
A wisdom past our power to see:
Each knows innately how to live,
Which we must learn laboriously. - Margaret Atwood


Turkey Day Selfie

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Grandma's Beautiful Pies

Going Cold Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Carving The Turkey

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Turkey Not

Turkey Weather Forecast

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Peace Foot

Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape