#1 humor site on the 'net

Theft-Free Lunch

No-one at work will want to take your sandwiches now!

Theft-Free Lunch thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

But watch out for the tossers...

QuotaBills
I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. - Victoria C Mitchell

Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen. - Deep Roy

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Bill Gates has always been a mentor and inspiration for me even before I knew him. Just growing up, I admired how Microsoft was mission-focused. - Mark Zuckerberg

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted