The Stare Down

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I've probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge. - Bill Murray

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Try looking into that place where you dare not look! You'll find me there, staring out at you! - Frank Herbert

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Foggy nights bring some comfort. He can get lost in the mist and there is no one to stare or question. - Susie Clevenger

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen