The End Is Near

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

Call on God, but row away from the rocks. - Indian Proverb

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. - George Bernard Shaw

Man discovers truth by reason only, not by faith. - Tolstoy

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. - Victor Kraft

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

There lives more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Never pray to win, but to do your best - for God has no favorites. - Dorothy I. Welker

If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise. - Johann von Goethe

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler

If there's one thing I know, it's that God does love a good joe-k. - Hugh Elliott

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Physical strength can never permanently withstand the impact of spiritual force. - Franklin D Roosevelt

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay

Sometimes I get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence. - Helen Keller

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Failure is God's way of saying, "Excuse me, you're moving in the wrong direction." - Oprah

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

God's blessings are dispensed according to the riches of his grace, not according to the depth of our faith. - Max Lucado

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

There is not greater reward in our profession than the knowledge that God has entrusted us with the physical care of his people. - Dr. Elmer Hess

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

Where our bread is concerned, it is a material matter. Where our neighbor's bread is concerned, it is a spiritual matter. - I.D. Douglas

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker