Texas Wal-Mart Shopper

Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel

Gun control? We need bullet control. I think every bullet should cost $5,000. Because if a bullet cost $5,000, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. - George Carlin

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams