Texas Wal-Mart Shopper

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams