Texas Wal-Mart Shopper

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody, except bad people. - Charlton Heston

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel

Gun control? We need bullet control. I think every bullet should cost $5,000. Because if a bullet cost $5,000, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. - George Carlin

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein