QuotaBillsLeave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather
Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Operator! Give me the number for 911! - Homer Simpson
Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz
A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston
How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman
Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody, except bad people. - Charlton Heston
I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan
When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith
The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson
A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson
I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards
If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther
Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge
I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner
To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn
Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher
I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White