Tech Help For Grandma

I like children - fried. - WC Fields

Childhood is a wilderness. - Aspen Matis

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children are the wisdom of the nation. - African Saying

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Shouting louder does not help if truth has been lost. - Ravi Zacharias

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

The gods cannot help those who do not seize opportunities. - Chinese proverb

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. - Allen Klein

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Judging a child taking his first steps for not being able to run a marathon is shortsighted. - Tyler Winklevoss

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. - Bernie Mac

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. - P J O'Rourke

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Don't expect your friend to be a perfect person. But help your friend to become a perfect person. That is true friendship. - Mother Teresa

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths. - Bertrand Russell

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah