Tech Help For Grandma

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

He has a right to criticize who has a heart to help. - Abraham Lincoln

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. - Milton Berle

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. - Paulo Coelho

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

If a child can't learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn. - Ignacio Estrada

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. - Bernie Mac

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you, they make you perfect. It's not real life. - Lady Gaga

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Children raced outside. She surveyed their trail - traces of sticky fingerprints across everything, like wee poems. - Dr. SunWolf

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

When nature is my inspiration and subject, I am witness to an extraordinary range of color and every imaginable atmospheric condition. - Karen Casey

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G K Chesterton