Tech Help For Grandma

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

Adolescence is the conjugator of childhood and adulthood. - Louise J. Kaplan

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. - Madeleine L'Engle

Vaseball: A game of catch played by children in the living room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself. - Galileo Galilei

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. - Adlai Stevenson

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration; the rest of us just get up and go to work. - Stephen King

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. - William James

We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. - Antoine de Saint-Expurey

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller