Table Kids

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Sour Kraut: Unhappy with the fare in the Berlin restaurant - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com