Table Kids

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda