Suck It Up

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

The conscious water saw its Master and blushed. - Alexander Pope

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson