#1 humor site on the 'net

Split Screen View

Friends enjoying a real-time video game

Split Screen View thanks to Wisse Boomsluiter

When 2D (Two Deep) is preferred to 3D

QuotaBills
Fishing Show: Reel-life TV. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Time is given us to use in view of eternity. - Harry Ironside

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better. - Ricky Gervais

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Every film is a puzzle really, from an editorial point of view. - Walter Murch

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

Happiness is largely an attitude of mind, of viewing life from the right angle. - Dale Carnegie

Sharing oft leaves less. But with love the more we share, the fuller our hearts. - J. Benson

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Will power is to the mind like a strong blind man who carries on his shoulders a lame man who can see. - Arthur Schopenhauer

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room. - Red Skelton

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

And why should it not be terrifying? A little terror, in my view, is good for the soul, when it is terror in the face of a noble object. - Robertson Davies

The shoulders I stand on are broad and strong, full of history and courage and love. How about you? Whose shoulders are you standing on? - Molly Johnson

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. - Winston Churchill

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. - Winston Churchill

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright


2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Manitoba Kickstand

Puzzle Ad

Winter Driving in Canada

Coffee Morning

Slide-n-Freeze

Slip Sliding Away

Canadian Smart Car

Winter SOS

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Handstand Snowman

We're Not Gonna Take It

Vinyl Richie

Karma Towing

Red Wine Diet

Snow Geese

Family Birthday Reminder

The Circular File

Pair Tree

'Top Down' Snow Removal

Winter Kayaking

Mustache Breeze

Something Positive

Snowstorm Closure